jesus rocks and i suck

Just when I thought that I had seen it all online. Then a friend emailed me a link to this insane website for Dan "Shut the fuck up" Daniels, thefunny.org priest. Thanks Vik. See for yourself:

Jesus rocks

The site is illustrated. I thought my former roommate's art work was bad. Well it was, but there are new lows here. My ex-roommate, let's call him Walter, is in his late 20's but looks like you imagine Woody Allen would at twelve. He took self-portraits, nude ones. The one he hung on his bedroom door, the one that I had to walk past as I came home, the one on the way to the kitchen, the one halfway down the hall - it was his bare blue bony ass walking away from the camera. He was blue. It was not attractive. And by attractive I don't mean in an Herb Ritts or Bruce Weber kind of attractive. I mean bony, as in no muscle definition. Or pale, as in I don't see any evidence of the effects of sunlight, although he was blue. Think about your lowest rung on the attractive ladder, it didn't even hit that. It was so not attractive. I'm glad he moved out and took his bad art work with him.

But back to the insane web site. One of my favorite lines in the Jesus rocks web site is where Dan says that Jesus "GOT THESE SUPER POWERS LIKE LASER EYES AND IF YOU SIN HE WILL COME DOWN TO YOUR HOUSE AND BEAT YOUR ASS WITH A LEAD PIPE!"

I like that he's so specific.