colossal pile of cow shit burns for three months

Say what you will about Los Angeles, but at least our big piles of shit don't spontaneously combust and burn for three months. The big piles of shit we have are usually gone after a disappointing opening weekend. Usually.

In Nebraska, where big piles of manure are commonplace, a 2,000 pound pile of cow manure has been burning for the past three months. They can't just dump water on it because the runoff will pollute any nearby water source. So until they figure out a way to extinguish it, the shit is still burning. But of more concern to me (as I live in Los Angeles and not Nebraska) - what can we do about Tara Reid?